i wanna f*ck a politician or someone famous that’s in the closet so they pay me enough to live a glamorous life but then write a tell-all book and get a reality tv deal and make even more money lol
Baked some iPhone cookies to trick cops into pulling me over, then I just take a bite and ask if cookies are against the law.
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a fucking moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.
stealing is a crime AND drugs is a crime too BUT if you steal drugs the two crimes cancel out and it is like basically doing a good. trust me i am a lawyerman
THE WORST FEELING EVER IS WHEN YOURE SO ENTHUSIASTIC TELLING SOMEONE SOMETHING AND YOU CAN JUST PHYSICALLY FEEL THEM NOT CARING AT ALL SO YOU TRY HARDER BUT YOU JUST CANNOT GRASP THEIR ATTENTION SO YOU SLOWLY FADE OUT AND LET THEM GO BACK TO DOING WHAT THEY DO AND YOU WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR TAKING TIME OUT OF THEIR DAY TO TELL THEM SOMETHING YOU’RE HAPPY ABOUT
Oh my God somebody actually put it in to words